How I lost you…

Looks like I have lost you… Today, can be counted as one of those dark days in my life.. The day when the world seems upside down.. Words fail me, in explaining what I am being put through…

You have been my true companion all these years.. You gave a meaning to my life. You helped me enjoy the beauty of the world through a different angle. You helped me distinguish, the good from the bad. You made me whole. I knew I would lose you some day. But not so soon. This has hit me out of the blue..

I remember the multiple times you have saved my life. Once from a domestic gas explosion. Another time from the dangerous fumes of ammonia and methane. Whenever someone tried to poison me through food , you came to my aid. I owe you my life..

You always gave me an edge over others. I would be the first one to know when mom was in a good mood. My garden has no meaning without you. In fact, it was all for you. The lovely vanilla plantation at home.. How will I ever get those childhood memories back, now that you are gone..

And our other friends.. Oh. how they would miss you!! Many of them have no existence without you. They have already started to tread their path to doom. When the first mishap hit you 10 months back, we all fought together to get you back. And you did come back..though it left you permanently damaged. We tried hard to keep you from a subsequent attack,which would impair you further. But sorry my dear.. I failed you..

I think I have really lost you this time.. Oh my dear.. “sense of smell”!!!!


Reflections of my Mind – A Tribute!!

Its been 5 years.. 5 long years since I wrote anything here.. Have terribly missed it. After all these years , it still feels special to be back. To pen down what clogs my mind.

Today.. a drizzly Friday evening.. this is the day I choose. And I choose it for a reason.. My mind is full and brimming.. As I travel back home, after a week of work.. the work that I enjoy.. the work with the people I enjoy being with.. , I feel the urge to finally write J

This is about a part of me.. This is about that something, I hold close to my heart. This is about .. Friendship.. All those friendships I have experienced. This is a tribute to everyone who have accompanied me in my journey so far in life. From the first friends as a toddler to the ones who accompany me for a tea outside office. This is an ode to each one of you.

When I see my lil daughter play with her friend, it’s a reminder of the good times I had with the first friend that I remember of. Never did I realize until many many years later that he was older than me by 5 years. I still remember having bossed over him and always got my way in everything. A successful doctor today, and an even better human being, I am happy that I we are still in contact.

The first girls gang I had was at the age of 5 . We 3 were nothing less than Power-puff girls (or so is what we thought). We were 1 yr apart in age, with me being the youngest. We even took strong resolves and oaths to be followed for the rest of our lives. One such was to never drink tea until the age of 12. A resolve which was followed to the word. We never met each other after the age of 8, when we relocated to India. After 18 long years, Facebook brought us in contact again. Happy to know how your lives have evolved!

Then there were so many friends in school. Some who stayed. Some who just brushed past.  Some who had deep impacts in my heart. We still stay in touch. These are friendships which passed the test of time. Friends whom I can truly rely on. Friends who accept me as I am. Where I never have to act. Love you all for being there in thick and thin. For bearing with all my annoyances. What you mean to me is inexplicable. To all of you my dears.. To the complete BMV gang.. Cheers!! Its here , that I got my first best friend too. You will remain most special till lights out J

In college, did I meet a lot of wonderful people too. The ones who made the boring lectures very interesting. The ones who came over to my home on weekends.. The ones who invited us over for functions in far-off towns.. Ones who taught me its okay  to be crazy. Ones who made me laugh without limits. Ones who were true pillars of support. Someone who stood up for me whenever I needed. Who helped me do everything I thought I could never achieve. Who taught me to believe, nothing is impossible J My dear Amritians.. we might not be in constant contact but you still live in my heart. Am106cs001 to am106cs066 and am106cs0502, I can never forget the time I spent with you.

CEERI.. you brought a new set of wonderful friends with you. Awesome seniors.. Adorable juniors and my dear dear brothers (read as batchmates). If I have survived with you.. I can survive everywhere. J From bearing with my awful Hindi to my boring philosophies.. you have tolerated me day after day. Never have I felt left out, though I was the sole girl in class. I hope we remain the same crazy people we were, the 2 yrs we spent together. Always in touch and taunting each other.

My dear friends at work.. Thanks for accepting me into the group within a matter of days . For trusting me with secrets. For giving importance in your lives. For making me feel at home. For being a motivation to come back to work each day morning. For all the outing we enjoyed. For all walks together.For the very wonderful girls trip to Andamans! For all the tea-break chats. I am not sure where life would take us, with ever-changing nature of our work, but I would never want to lose what we share with each other.

Its rare to have friends inside our family . Meera.. you have and always will be that one person whom I can never get bored talking to. We both got busy with our lives, but we will always remain those kids who know each and every aspect of each other’s life. The ones who share the special bond of life, just like we shared Amma’s womb. We are so similar in all our differences. Couldn’t have asked for a better friend or sister than you.

Friendship never evaded me even in marriage. Having married my very close friend, I didn’t have to explain the importance of all my friendships to him. Dileep.. we met as friends.. we married as friends. Though the dynamics of the relations have changed.. we still are friends.. and need to remain the same till death does us apart. Today you are our daughter’s best friend too.

In all phases of life .. I did have lot of other special friends too. A chat-friend (whom I never met)who is still a good friend even after 13 long years. Another friend with whom I share all my anxieties and worries and brings me back to normal when my levels of stress go out of bounds. Yet another friend who supported me when I needed the most when I was worried about my kiddo starting school J All of you are unique. All of you are an integral part of me…



Songs for Programmers

Today while checking my facebook updates I came across a post by one of my friends which I found hilarious and interesting. So posting it here for all of you to enjoy (Can  be well appreciated by people who have a basic experience in computer programming )

Programming Songs:
1. Local variable
Jeena Yahan Marna Yahan,
Iske siva Jana kaahan.

2. Global variable
Musafir hoon yaaron,
na ghar hai na thikana

3. Null pointers
Mera jeevan kora kagaz kora hi reh gaya ..

4. Dangling pointers
Maut bhi aati nahi jaan bhi jati nahin.

5. The debugger
Jab koi baat bigad jaye
Jab koi mushkil pad jaye
Tum dena saath mera hamnawaz

6. From VC++ to VB
Yeh haseen vaadiyan
Yeh khula asmaan
Aa gaye hum kahan

7. Untrackable bug —
aye ajnabi, tu bhi kabhi,
awaaz de kahin se

8. Unexpected bug (esp. during presentation to client)
Ye kya hua, Kaise hua, Kab hua, Kyon hua

9. And then to the client
Jab hua, Tab hua, O chhodo, ye na socho

10. Load Balancing
Saathi haath badhana
ek akela thak jayega
mil kar bojh uthana

11. Modem – talk on a busy connection
suno – kaho,
kaha – suna,
kuch huwa kya?
Abhee to nahin…
kuch bi nahin

12. Windows getting open sourced
Parde mein rahne do
parda na uthao
parda jo uth gaya to bhed khul jayega
allah meri tauba, allah meri tauba

13. Two Recursive functions calling each other

Mujhe kuchh kehna hein
mujhe bhi kuchh kehna hein
pehle tum, pehle tum

14. GOTO
Ajeeb dastan hai yeh
Kahan shuru kahan khatam
Ye manzilen hain kaun si
Na woh samajh sake na hum

15. Hidden or Private scope Variable/value
Jaanejan .. dhoondta phir raha,
Hoon tujhe raat din, main yahan se wahan

Hope you enjoyed the songs 🙂 🙂

Pilani… PGRPE and one hell of a year….

This post is dedicated to all you wonderful people who made this one year special in Pilani.

Today, the 9th of August, we (read PGRPE) successfully complete one year of our stay in the remotest place any of us had visited-PILANI. Last year in May when I graduated from college as a proud Computer Engineer little did I know that I would have to choose between my 2 loves – Computers and Research. Finally my love for research got the better of me and as a result of an odd chain of events I secured an admission in one of the CSIR(Council of Scientific and Industrial Research) labs under the Post Graduate Research Programme in Engg(PGRPE). The dates for reporting in the campus were from 6th to 9th August,2010. After a lot of worst case scenario simulations my parents decided that it would be best to be in Pilani by 6th August since 7th and 8th were public holidays and we always assume the worst case would come true. So with a lot of apprehensions, anxieties and some hope I boarded the flight for Delhi accompanied by my mom and fiancé. The main reasons for my tension were :
1. I had no background in Electronics and the course for which I was selected was ‘ADVANCED Semiconductor Electronics” (life and its weird ways !!!)
2. I was the only female candidate who made it to the merit list in a class of 10..<sigh..>.

The course coordinator had sent instructions on how to reach Pilani from Delhi. Since we had no acquaintances in Delhi and Pilani was a 5 hour journey from the capital we decided to spend the night in the airport itself. That was a hell of a night without any sleep. The next day morning we reached the famous Kashmiri Gate Interstate Bus Terminal only to be “awed” by the filthy look it had. There was not even a single bus which looked boardable. We finally boarded the 9am bus to Pilani and the travel was tiresome on that hot and humid day. But then I got to see poverty for the first time in my life. Hailing from the state of Kerala which is famous for its uniform development, I had no idea that there were people really living in shacks all over the northern part of my country. I was under the impression that the slums of Mumbai and the like were just a minority. And on that day I realized that there could be advantages too to the socialist attitude that prevailed in my state.

We reached Pilani and got a room allotted in the guest house without much difficulty. The biggest attraction (and maybe the only attraction) here are the peacocks who roam about freely everywhere as if untouched by the human intrusion. Also I was surprised on seeing lots of trees. I was expecting those arid, dry deserts, sand dunes, women with pots of water and all those scenes which come to anyone’s mind when you think of Rajasthan. I was disappointed. I spotted even the first camel only after one or two weeks of stay here. <sigh.>

The weekend passed without much to do. Just roamed about in the BITS campus which is adjacent to our’s. Exchanged rings with my fiancé <blush>. Met my college friend in BITS and most of the time slept in my room. On 9th morning with lots of anxieties and hopes I reached the conference hall of our lab. There I found 10 new faces(none looked friendly or inviting). I still remember the only few people who even had the interest to talk to me. But all that changed as time passed by. We became best pals. But today I thank all the following people (names are not included) who made my day on 9th August 2010 [a] the one who gave me the first smile [b] one who gave me the first handshake [c] the one who lend me a pen when in need(though he did it with the weirdest of all expressions) [d] the ones who made me feel most welcome by saying they were hoping for a girl from Kerala to join to complete their group … and all others who made me feel at home in this far-off land.

The past one year has been the most eventful and hectic one in my life. Learnt a lot of new stuff– pn junctions, holes, electrons, transistors, optics, photonics, fields, waves, …….now the interesting part.. Cooking, maintaining a room, stay in hostel, roommate survival, “dealing”, surviving with boys all around and no female company,anxieties about the degree..…. Meanwhile I fractured my
leg, got my ATM card blocked for 4 months, bought a cycle which tortured me everyday, endured severe winter and summer , attended a live concert..and did so many more crazy things which I never thought I had the capability to do (thanks to all my dear brothers).. Pilani taught me a lot of lessons and gave a handful of awesome friends. As I complete one year of stay here I just want to tell you guys (classmates, batchmates and seniors(in seniors especially my ‘Di’s)) I love you all really a lot. You are the people who helped me survive through bad times and laughed with me during good times.. You are ones who stood with me through thick and thin.. You made my year soooo SPECIAL….



How many times have you lost all control over yourself ? How many times have you blasted out on someone and badly regretted having done so? I am sure there will be a very low minority who don’t experience these situations at least on a weekly basis if not on a daily basis..And I am no exception. But an experience which I had a few days ago got me thinking about patience and the importance a patient listening and patient explanation would have on someone’s life.

Most of us might have heard of the story which signifies how patiently our parents had taught us when we were too young and immature and how we lose our control when they behave like children in their old age.. All of us feel the depth of the story and understand the moral though our behavior never changes. Life would have been so easy if people changed their behavior after being impacted by stories. It I real-life incidents which can change a human being.

After going through the above 2 paragraphs if you are expecting some really emotional and life-changing incident you are sure to be disappointed. J I write this post as a dedication to the patience one of my teachers(or you can read guides) showed towards me. I have always been a very impatient person when it comes to teaching anyone. It is a well-known fact among friends and family that unless you are a very fast learner you will not be able to learn anything from me. I always used to complain how someone could be so illogical and for me any learning would happen only through logically analyzing thing let it be learning how to operate a mobile, connecting a cd player, driving or even cooking. But then I met a very humbling personality who changed the way I perceive things.

When I joined for a PG course in Semiconductor Electronics (and specialized in Photonics) after having a background in Computer Engineering I didn’t have much idea how I would be able to cope with it but thanks to some extremely motivating personalities ,I was able to survive in this whole new world of electronics research. When I took up a self study course in Diffraction Gratings without having any background in electromagnetism that too under a guide who is another part of the country everyone called it a wild-call. Though I was fairly confident that I will be able to pull it through I started losing confidence as time passed by. That’s when my guide made a one week visit to my lab. Each day he would spend time with me teaching me the very basics of electromagnetism and that’s when I realized that learning something which we are totally unfamiliar with is extremely difficult and I remembered how my mom would have felt when I used to try to teach her how to operate a mobile or to drive a car. It was totally new to her and she used to make all kinds of mistakes just like what I was doing with fields and waves. 🙂  I learnt the most important lesson that unless you are fundamentally clear about the subject or activity there is no way you can learn it howmuchever hard work you put in.

Now I am a changed person. I have promised myself that next time I try to teach someone I will definitely be patient and make sure that the I put in my 100% effort to make that person learn. And that itself makes me feel very relaxed and motivated..
Thanks for the patient reading. 🙂 Have a good day!

Sooner or Later Though You Always Have to Wake Up…..

This write-up will be better understood by those readers who have seen the movie Avatar by James Cameroon.  And I really suggest that those who have not seen the movie please do watch it. Its worth the effort.
I decided to watch the movie Avatar just because it was directed by a famous director and there was a lot of hype about the movie all around. Just like any other normal viewer..:). But half way through the movie I started understanding the message the movie was trying to convey. I started understanding that it was one of the most relevant movies I have seen in recent times. The movie talks about the greed of human beings. About what wonders nature can do.. About the extent to which human beings can deteriorate to be the ruler of all resources. .
The movie is about how humans(refered to as Sky-people) decide to mine rich natural resources from another planet named Pandora and the natives of the planet known as the Na’vis trying hard not just to safeguard the resources but also to preserve the nature of their homeland. They fight till their death to save their planet. From the surface it looks like any other normal alien movie but deep down it sends a message to the whole human race to fight for the planet we live in. Towards the climax of the movie the hero prays to the Na’vi Goddess and thats the dialogue which I felt was most relevant ..See the world we come from. There’s no green there. They killed their Mother and they’re gonna do the same here. Very True. We have killed our Mother Nature who protects and preserves us.
Our greed is never going to end. It will only keep on increasing until we ourselves become the reason for our downfall. Take for instance the Copenhagen Climate Change Summit. No one was ready to take a stand that would save the Earth. All the countries thought just about themselves and thus even a consensus could not be reached, leave alone a solid protocol or agreement. Thus it turned out to be a failure.
Indians and Africans, who are considered to be inferior races by others, have a rich heritage which we can be proud of. These two races have always worked in harmony with nature and done all that could be to safeguard it. But now what has happened to us?? Just like the Na’vis in the movie shouldn’t we too continue doing what our ancestors have done? Should we too end up being held responsible for the brutal murder of our Mother? Or should we stand up against the murderers? Its for us to decide. Lets not forget that the green cover is necessary for the human race to survive. Just like the forest decides to help the Na’vis to save their homeland Nature will appreciate any effort made by her children and help to drive away the intruders.
By the time the destroyers have realized their mistakes it’ll be too late. So lets all consider it our obligation to take up the responsibility and help save our Mother. Fight for our Mother. Without her we have no identity. Its she who preserves us. We are like babies; stupid and ignorant. Lets grow up a bit for the sake of our Mother.
So its time for us to wake up..
Save our Mother!! Save Nature!!!

Diwali… The festival of lights..

Diwali is one of the most lively festivals in India and even the whole world. With so many chirags lighting up the whole place as well as our hearts.. The sound of firecrackers which fill the air.. And the best part.. THE SWEETS!!! I just love this festival.. But when we celebrate a festival it is important to know the significance of it as well as the legend associated with it.

So for all those who like to know more about this wondeful festival just read on…

Lets pledge to drive away the darkness!!
Lets pledge to drive away the darkness!!

India is a land of festivals where you will see at least one major festival each month. Deepavali (or Diwali) which literally means “rows of lamps” is one of the four main festivals of India. Throughout the world all Hindus celebrate Deepavali or Diwali with great pomp and enthusiasm.
The celebration of Diwali lasts six days, beginning on the 12th day of the month of Kartik (as per the North Indian lunar calendar). The day before Diwali, in order to evoke the grace of God, women fast. It is not that God wants you to go hungry or takes pleasure in your suffering – the principle is that you gain only by giving up. That evening, devotees worship Gomata (the cow) and her calf and feed them special food. Women pray for the welfare of the entire family. This holy day is called Vasubaras.
The first official day of Diwali falls on the 13th of Kartik. People set about cleaning houses and shops, and decorating doorsteps and courtyards with rangoli or multi-coloured designs. They purchase gold ornaments, new vessels, clothes, and other such items. Devotees arise early in the morning before sunrise and take oil baths. If possible, they wear new clothes. In the evening, people worship coins representing wealth. Families decorate houses and courtyards with lanterns giving a warm glow to the night. This day of celebration is called Dhantrayodashi or Dhanteras.
The second day is called Naraka Chaturdashi. People take an oil bath in the early morning and then in the night they light lamps and burn firecrackers. People visit their relatives and friends, exchanging love and sweets.
On the third day, people worship Lakshmi, the Goddess of wealth. People decorate their houses with lit lamps and lanterns to welcome Lakshmi to their home and hearts. On this day businessmen close old accounts and open new accounts. The earth is lit up by lamps and the skies are coloured by the multi-hued lights of fireworks.
In North India, the Govardhana Puja occurs on the fourth day of Diwali. Devotees in the North build large mounds made of cow dung, symbolising Govardhana – the mountain that Krishna lifted up with his finger to save the villagers of Vrindavan from rain – and decorate and worship them. North Indians observe this day as Annakoot, or the mountain of food.
The fifth day of the festival called Bhaiyya Dooj celebrates unique and fun customs. Every man dines in his sister’s house, and, in return, presents her with gifts. North India calls it Yama Dwitiya. Thousands of brothers and sisters join hands and have a sacred bath in the river Yamuna.

The Legends
The scriptures mention the divinity called Dhanvantari emerging from the churning of the ocean holding a kalash (pot) filled with Amrit (ambrosia). Due to the fact that Dhanvantari, who revealed the science of Ayurveda to the world, first manifested on this day, all over India, doctors following the Ayurvedic system of medicine organise joyful celebrations during the annual Dhanvantari festival.
Naraka Chaturdashi
There is a legend about a king of Prag-Jyotishpur, named Narakasura. He was a powerful king who misused power to harass his subjects. Sri Krishna destroyed this oppressive asura king on this day. Unjustly imprisoned people celebrated their freedom with friends and family. The citizens celebrated their deliverance from Narkasura’s reign by lighting lamps.
Sri Rama
Deepavali falls on a no-moon day – in fact the darkest day of the year. The illuminations and fireworks, joy and festivities, are to signify the victory of divine forces over the powers of darkness. On Deepavali day, triumphant Sri Rama is said to have returned to Ayodhya after defeating Ravana, the asura king of Lanka.
Goddess Lakshmi Devi
The Puranas say that it was on this day that Goddess Lakshmi, who emerged from the churning of the ocean of milk (Ksheera Sagara), married Lord Vishnu, the repository of all divine qualities.

Govardhana Puja
In order to shelter the gopis and gopas and their cows from the torrential rains sent by Indra, Krishna lifted a hill near Mathura called Govardhana with his finger and sheltered all the people for a period of seven days under it. By then Indra saw Krishna’s greatness and asked him for forgiveness.
Bhaiyya Dooj
The river Yamuna and Yama, the God of Death, were brother and sister. As they grew up they went their different ways. On this day Yama supposedly visited his sister Yamuna, who in her joy at seeing her brother after such a long interlude set up a feast for him. Pleased, Yama granted her a boon. He declared that every man that receives a tilak or vermilion mark on the forehead from his sister and presents her with lovely gifts on this day would attain higher worlds.

The message of Deepavali
The traditional name of India is Bharata and Indians are Bharatias – or ‘those who revel in light’. During the night of Deepavali the myriad little clay lamps (diyas) seem to silently send forth message of Deepavali: “Come, let us remove darkness from the face of the earth.”
The dharma of fire is the same wherever it is: in a poor man’s house, in a rich man’s house, in America, in Antarctica, or in the Himalayas. It gives light and heat. The flame always points upwards. Even if we keep the lamp upside down, the flame will burn upwards. The message is that our mind should be focused on the Atman, the Self wherever we are. The lamps remind us of our dharma to realise our divine nature.
“The Self is pure consicousness which is self-luminous. The cognition of all objects arises from the light of pure Consciousness.” -says Bhrihadaranyaka Upanishad
One lamp can light several others. You can even light another 1000 lamps, and still the flame and the light of the first lamp will remain as it is. By becoming manifold, the light looses nothing. The lights of Deepavali represent Brahman and creation. It conveys the message of the mantra:
“Purnamada Purnamidam Purnaat Purnamudachyate
Purnasya Purnamadaya Purnamevasishyate”

The rows of lamps teach yet another important lesson of unity. The light that shines forth from the Sun, the moon, the stars, and fire is all the same. To see and recognise that one light, the light of consciousness, which is manifesting and pulsating in and through all of creation is the goal of life. Thus, recognising all of creation to be an expression of your true Self, spread the light of love and compassion.
The lights of Deepavali are displayed at the entrance doors, by the walls of houses, in the streets and lanes. This means that the inner spiritual light of the individual must be reflected outside. It should benefit society. Passers-by may thereby be prevented from stumbling on their way to reach their destination.
Feeding empty stomachs, lighting blown-out diyas and bringing light to those whose lives are in darkness is the true spirit of Deepavali. This is true prayer

References :

GATE-2010 – an overview..

Its recession time !! And we students who have reached the final year of our BTech degree (especially CSE and IT) are in real trouble..

As in all other colleges the placements in our college are expected to be bleak.. But thats when the CCR(Center for Corporate Relations) of our college decided to encourage us to concentrate on higher studies rather than remain disappointed about placements.

A core group of 4 students( of which I’m one) were assigned the job of collecting all the information about the GATE exam and present it in front of our classmates. We did so in order to motivate the interested students to participate in the GATE training which is done by the students themselves with constant monitoring from the CCR. Right now the classes are progressing. We all hope that we get a good GATE score and continue our studies from one of the pioneer institutions in India.. 🙂

I’m uploading the data which we collected about the GATE exam. It contains the exam details, pattern, syllabus, important dates etc.. Hoping that it will help all u guys who are interested in taking up the exam..

All the Best!

The details are available in pdf format here :  GATE 2010

Create a free website or blog at

Up ↑